This morning was my first morning back from vacation. Thank you, Jesus.
I love vacation. A change of scenery and pace is not just nice, I’d say it’s vital to overall health. The downside to a change in everything the potential for utter disruption of everything normal and all my self-care disciplines. Hopefully someday I’ll learn how to go on vacation and come back feeling nourished, energized and relatively skinny.
What I really dream about is a vacation where I can invest hours and hours at a time in the story. I think I might need that for Volume II, even just to create the outline!
All that to say, I was delighted to return to Jade’s backstory this morning.
One of Jade’s primary conflicts has to do with his confidence. He is recognized by all the other characters as supremely gifted, brilliant in all he does, a calm moral center and beacon of hope. But for all his strengths, he doesn’t advocate for himself very well. He is highly vulnerable to the influence of others, either the malicious coercion of Waverleigh, or the well-intentioned but heavy handing protective and controlling gestures by his brother. He is constantly caught in the tension of wanting to be good, but wanting to be powerful, and generally believing the two are irreconcilable.
Waverleigh pushed him hard as a kid. The old man said he wanted the kid to embrace his full potential. What Jade heard was that he needed to be a vicious killer. He didn’t want to kill, both because he didn’t want to become what the old man wanted because he hated him, but also because he wanted to be good.
Today, I was exploring the conflict in Jade’s head. What does Waverleigh have to do to get Jade to unleash, and how does Jade respond to himself when he finally does?